we shall be a kingdom of priests.

I think often about the occupation I desire to have in the Millennial Kingdom - or even beyond. These thoughts, and ponderings, actually rule most of that which transpires behind my eyes. This, in itself, is a new discovery on my part, but this, in itself, is quite fulfilling and satisfying. For every longing that this life offers no means for me to reach its end, has much potential in the age to come to be fully met (and so much more). The limits this side of eternity offers me, such as decay, age, income, time, place, and enemies of the soul, will forever be removed in that which I look to. On that side, the dreams of my heart can truly be fulfilled, and not only for personal satisfaction (which in itself, I believe, is not as bad as we so confidently claim) but for the satisfaction and pleasure of the King who will reign (which is the personal satisfaction all along). I can do my little work, literally, unto the Lord. Not as if that isn't true today, in space and time, but the fulfillment of this action isn't known, and if so, only by the eyes of faith. But then, I can paint and create and write and dance and sing and laugh and then, in the midst of my doing, and being, and longing to be seen, longing to be loved, I can glance, or even more, STARE, into the eyes of the One I am doing it, ultimately, for. My being me and doing what I do will provoke such pleasure upon He who created me in my own creating - and I will gaze upon the pleased eyes that blaze on like fire. These eyes which will burn with response of gratification and enjoyment of ME (and all that entails).

I will help him. Yes, He will let me. Just as the little girl asks to partake in the elaborate affairs and works of her father. I will be seen by Him. Yes, He will see me. Just as the little girl dresses up in her mother's fancy clothes and prances up to her Father wishing for a reaction of delight at her childish attempt to be noticed and to be beautiful, He in that day will put down the newspaper and look upon me, the child which he has named as royalty, and ENJOY me. He will love me because I am me. And what I offer up to him, be it paper mache' pottery or heart-felt poetry or musical composition, will be taken, and taken as His heart is moved.

And yes, this is today, this is the now, but then... then... the limits will be forever removed and I will see the Father and His delight. And I will know the Son and I will be known and there will be no question of my significance or ability to offer up something of value. Something of worth. For I will fully offer myself, day after day after day - reaching into eternity, and He will take me - and I will be what He wants, day after day after day - going on forever.

I think upon this, as there is much I long to do. Much I think I could do rather well. Much I would enjoy to do. Though the doing it for me is not very fulfilling, and even so, doing it for a man (be it husband or child or friend) lacks some satisfaction that I am called to. There is a little seed of greatness within, I feel it moving and budding, and it's future bloom is not for anything mortal, but for the immortal - and even more, Immortality Himself. I will and do, often please man with who I am (though not often enough to subdue the ache within to be Loved and Heard and Seen and Known and Enjoyed), but there is more I am going after... Bigger than now. Bigger than here and today. I am made to please the King of Kings, the Faithful Witness, the Firstborn of the Dead, the Judge of the Earth. Of this I am confident. And not only am I MADE to please Him, but I CAN. It's in me. I am fascinating to Him, as absurd as the reality is, it is, in fact, a reality.

And so I think, so often, upon things beyond being a good wife, or an intriguing spouse, or a delightful mother, or a beautiful woman, or an intriguing artist, or a mysterious creator... for that is all quite pale in comparison. I dream about one day ruling with the great Ruler. I consider the possibilities of decorating the inside of some office within the mountain from where He will rule. Really. I do. I dream of participating in making music that will draw all men into His presence and usher Him into great gatherings of the multitudes. I meditate on sketching on writing books about His beauty and knowledge as I sit and peer on it directly - books that will be forever read and studied and searched out. I long to be a part of His kingdom. To offer that which I have to offer. And it being what He wants. It being the song He wished to be played in that very moment over His heart. And it pleasing Him. It aiding Him in someway. It bringing Him pleasure.

And so, yes, I start now. I start now. And His invitation in this moment is to deny much... to die. But in my death I will find the life I've always longed to live and the community I've always peered into through the eyes of faith. Those will be the days. Yes, yes, and we will all be ONE. Hallelujah.